Yes, I am Loved by the Lord

Having attended the SFC Metro Manila Conference last July 23-25, 2010, bihira naman talaga akong matouch nang bonggang-bonggacious sa mga talks, worships, although siyempre, sa ganitong event lang mas nagiging malalim ang prayer ko compared sa regular na worships na meron kami sa aming chapter.

Ang hindi ko lang makalimutan dito ay ang aking experience sa Heart Made to Worship na workshop na inatendan ko. Siyempre, worship workshop ito. Pero to top it all off, di mawawala na may praise and worship. Nung time na ito ay hindi pa ako nakakapagconfess and I admit na mabibigat ang mga naging kasalanan ko sabay umattend ako ng event na ito kaya parang at this moment e hindi ako worthy. Pero nung nasa kalagitnaan na ng worship, napatingin ako sa crucifix na nasa stage. I looked at how the Lord died for us with all compassion and love.

Then when the song Heart of Worship was being played by the band, I saw a vision: a Man dressed in all white, with a crown of thorns on his head, but no blood flows out. Who looked exactly like the one crucified on the cross na nasa stage. He ran to me and embraced me tightly, just how my boyfriend does it when he is very excited to see me. I was struck when I heard him whisper to me something like, "everything will be alright." From that, for the first time, I cried (as in hagulgol ever ang drama ko) sa isang praise and worship session. I can't stop crying for a while.

Kasi that time, what really worries my heart was about my career. All i wanted was to be regularized in my current job. The Lord knew what I was afraid of. The Lord knew the desire of my heart at that very moment. And from there, he comforted me. I could feel his presence and his comforting words. Above all, I could feel His love.

As the worship session goes, everyone was encouraged to pray in tongues. As we were praying in tongues, the band vocalist, a sister, on the left side of my friend, Pabsy, (the one wearing a red shirt and brown jacket that time), was praying in tongues in front of her microphone, which made everyone hear it. Suddenly, I stopped and listened to her. I really cannot understand what she was saying, but in my heart, I was definite that she was speaking in Indian. I could say that because days before the conference, I have seen a video which shows a news in India, with Indian conversations so I knew that the prayer of tongues of the vocalist was close (or may really be) an Indian dialect. Which made me think, did i already receive the gift of interpretation of tongues? Hmm. :)

After the praise and worship session, I felt that I was really at peace and I was excited to have my confession. Thankfully, I was one of the first to receive the sacrament when the priests were stationed in the Garden of Renewal. I was really, really at peace.

Praying over the full time workers during a praise and worship session.

God has again, revealed to me his deep love for me.
He comforted me in that time of my sadness.
He is present.
He is loving us, no matter how grave our sins are.
He lives.
He is just waiting for us to come back Him.