Yes, I am Loved by the Lord

Having attended the SFC Metro Manila Conference last July 23-25, 2010, bihira naman talaga akong matouch nang bonggang-bonggacious sa mga talks, worships, although siyempre, sa ganitong event lang mas nagiging malalim ang prayer ko compared sa regular na worships na meron kami sa aming chapter.

Ang hindi ko lang makalimutan dito ay ang aking experience sa Heart Made to Worship na workshop na inatendan ko. Siyempre, worship workshop ito. Pero to top it all off, di mawawala na may praise and worship. Nung time na ito ay hindi pa ako nakakapagconfess and I admit na mabibigat ang mga naging kasalanan ko sabay umattend ako ng event na ito kaya parang at this moment e hindi ako worthy. Pero nung nasa kalagitnaan na ng worship, napatingin ako sa crucifix na nasa stage. I looked at how the Lord died for us with all compassion and love.

Then when the song Heart of Worship was being played by the band, I saw a vision: a Man dressed in all white, with a crown of thorns on his head, but no blood flows out. Who looked exactly like the one crucified on the cross na nasa stage. He ran to me and embraced me tightly, just how my boyfriend does it when he is very excited to see me. I was struck when I heard him whisper to me something like, "everything will be alright." From that, for the first time, I cried (as in hagulgol ever ang drama ko) sa isang praise and worship session. I can't stop crying for a while.

Kasi that time, what really worries my heart was about my career. All i wanted was to be regularized in my current job. The Lord knew what I was afraid of. The Lord knew the desire of my heart at that very moment. And from there, he comforted me. I could feel his presence and his comforting words. Above all, I could feel His love.

As the worship session goes, everyone was encouraged to pray in tongues. As we were praying in tongues, the band vocalist, a sister, on the left side of my friend, Pabsy, (the one wearing a red shirt and brown jacket that time), was praying in tongues in front of her microphone, which made everyone hear it. Suddenly, I stopped and listened to her. I really cannot understand what she was saying, but in my heart, I was definite that she was speaking in Indian. I could say that because days before the conference, I have seen a video which shows a news in India, with Indian conversations so I knew that the prayer of tongues of the vocalist was close (or may really be) an Indian dialect. Which made me think, did i already receive the gift of interpretation of tongues? Hmm. :)

After the praise and worship session, I felt that I was really at peace and I was excited to have my confession. Thankfully, I was one of the first to receive the sacrament when the priests were stationed in the Garden of Renewal. I was really, really at peace.

Praying over the full time workers during a praise and worship session.

God has again, revealed to me his deep love for me.
He comforted me in that time of my sadness.
He is present.
He is loving us, no matter how grave our sins are.
He lives.
He is just waiting for us to come back Him.

Apostles' Creed, by Mheng Torres

I believe in God, our Holy Father, who created heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus His Son, who was conceived by our Mother because of her obedience through the power of the Spirit, to preach and to heal, but suffered and murdered proclaiming the Kingdom of God and for the atonement of sins, and as proclaimed, he rose again and seated at the right hand of our Father. He will come again to judge everyone from the past 'til the end of time.

I believe in the Spirit of God, the Holy Catholic Church, the foundation of Jesus, the communion of those who followed him, the forgiveness of sins for those who repent, the resurrection of the body and spirit, and everlasting life in the new earth Jesus promised. Amen.

Singles for Christ.

Ang bigat.

Iniisip kaagad ng tao na kapag nalaman nilang ang kasama nila ay miyembro nito eh ang taong yun ay isa nang perpektong tao. Relihiyoso.

Ano ba ang pananaw niyo sa mga taong SFC? Sa isang taong tulad ko?

Una sa lahat: hindi kami perpektong tao. Kaya please lang, stop judging us. Stop expecting that we are close to being saints. Although may disclaimer: at one point, SFC's strive to be saints. Personally, pangarap ko yun.

Nakakapressure na kapag nalaman ng tao na SFC ka, e dapat ma-meet mo ang expectations nila. Na dapat hindi ka masamang tao, na wala kang ginagawang masama.

Ouch.

Basta ako, eto lang ang masasabi ko: EVERYONE OF US IS A WORK IN PROGRESS: GOD'S WORK IN PROGRESS.

Oo. Marami na sa mga SFC ang mga taong visible proof na posible ang pagbabagong-buhay. Merong mga dating bading, straight na ngayon. Merong mga dating adik, matitinong tao na ngayon. Merong mga dating walang direksyon ang buhay, ngayon mga misyonero na. Maraming tao na proof ng kani-kanilang mga milagro sa buhay. Oo. Lahat kami. Lahat kami ay may kanya-kanyang kwento.

Pero meron pa rin sa amin na kahit solidong SFC ang pinapamukha sa mga tao, e kakikitaan pa rin ng hindi magandang bisyo. Marami pa rin ang naninigarilyo. Marami pa rin ang umiinom na parang wala nang bukas. Meron pa ring mga nambababae o hindi nakukuntento sa kasalukuyang relasyon. Marami pa rin ang nagpapaligaya ng sariling laman na labas sa sakramento ng kasal. At katulad ng mga nakaranas ng magagandang milagro, in the same way, marami rin sa amin ang may ganito pang mga hindi magagandang kwento. Hanggang ngayon.

At ang mga taong yun, hindi ko sinabing mga masasamang tao. Tingin ko sa kanila, na ito talaga ang totoong mukha ng mga SFC: na ang isang SFC ay isang hindi perpektong tao who could have been really worse kung wala sila sa renewal community na tumutulong sa kanila upang kahit paano eh maayos ang buhay nila.

Ano ngayon ang pinagkaiba ng mga hindi perpektong taong ito sa mga ordinaryong tao sa paligid?

Ang mga taong ito acknowledges the presence of God in their life. Oo. Aminado akong mahina rin ako at kabilang ako sa mga sinasabi kong mga hindi perpektong tao. Pero alam ko na kahit ganumpaman eh mahal kami ng Diyos, at hindi kami pinababayaan.

Isa pang punto: ang mga taong hindi perpekto ay nag-eeffort naman kahit paano na maging isang mas mabuti pang tao. Paano? Andiyan ang mga elders sa community upang tulungan kami. Pero kung spiritual battle na talaga ang usapan, ayan ang sakramento ng kumpisal. Para sa amin, ang kumpisal at ang kumpisalan mismo ay isang mahalagang bahagi ng simbahan na dapat hindi kinahihiyang puntahan, ngunit dapat bisitahin at least isang beses man lang sa bawat buwan.

Sa bawat SFC na makikilala niyo, bawat isa sa amin, tulad nga ng sinabi ko, may kanya-kanyang kwento ng mga miracles, ng mga Jesus Christ Experiences, pero bawat isa rin sa amin ay may kwento ng kahinaan. Ok lang naman maging mahina. Basta pag nadapa, bangon lang, bawi ulet. Kung magkamali ulet, bangon ulet. Ang mahalaga, kahit nadadapa ka eh hindi nananatiling nakahandusay sa lupa, pero pinipilit mong bumangon kasi alam mong hindi ka dapat nakadapa, ngunit nakatayo upang ipahayag ang pag-ibig ng Diyos sa bawat isa sa ating lahat.